Grave-robbing may be out of style, but fan exploitation isn’t. Monster fans deserve a reliable market test to rely upon before sending money to all too monstrous manufacturers. Therefore, to duli the fangs of some vampires of our industry, we at MT innovate The Monster Market to product test items, and report accurately on them – and about the bargains, too!
IMPORTANT! If we are really going to be able to keep the monster magnates in line, we’ll need your help. Please write in and tell us of your experience in the monster market, whether it be good, bad or none of the above. Write to THE MONSTER TIMES, c/o The Monster-Market, P.O. Box 595, Old Chelsea Station, N.Y. 10011.
Product Tested: 100 “movie Monster” Stamps. Available at: L&G Products, Box 532, Bellmore, N.Y. 11710. Price: $1.00 per set of 100.
“100 Stick-On Stamps of the Scariest Movie Monsters!”- they gotta be kidding, said we. With a gosh-awful ad like that, it’s gotta be the “scariest” waste of a buck yet. But we took the gamble and were pleasantly shocked to find we were wrong. But the ad should be re-written to read; “100 Stick-On Stamps of the Greatest Film Monsters-Printed in Livid Stomach-Churning GREEN!” This would better describe the product, and probably sell more of them.
You must be familiar with the ad for the “100 Stick-On Stamps of the Scariest Movie Monsters.” It’s common to all the Skywald “horror” comic magazines. The address on the ad coupon is to Skywald’s editorial offices, not, as one would assume, to L&G products. And that’s the trouble.
It took us well over two whole months until we got the stamps. They finally arrived a couple days before final deadline of our first issue. If you have any notions about giving the monster stamps (or probably any other of the Skywald-advertised products) as any sort of present, you had better order at least a full one-third of a year beforehand. We’ve given the real address of L&G Products, above. If you order directly from them, and skip the middlemen (Skywald), you just might get them a little sooner, but don’t hold your breath!
The stamps themselves were a surprise. They’re pretty good. They are also about one-eighth of an inch smaller than the “samples” presented in the ad, but that’s not particularly what one might call misleading advertising. Just wholesome, old-fashioned, “Yankee Trading”. Though we recommend the stamps, we wouldn’t advise you to buy a coffin from these folk … you’d wake up with evening backache and cramped wings.
Whoever chose the 100 monsters really knew his stuff. We can’t say they are the “scariest”-not with a straight face, anyway. But they are some of our favorites.
Lon Chaney is represented three times, by our count; as the one-eyed man in The Road to Mandalay, as the incomparable Hunchback, and as (natch!) The Phantom. Nosferatu, the first screen Dracula, is there, although slightly re-touched, and ol’ John Barrymore, the first great Mr. Hyde, is represented, also. The first filmed incarnation of Frankenstein’s monster (albeit it was a 15-minute jobbie produced by Thomas Edison and played by someone named Charles Ogle) is there too.
And there’s the cyclops from Ray Harryhausen’s special effects shelf from 7th Voyage of Sinbad, and Frankenstein (naturally Karloff), and five-count-em-five different versions of the wolfman (including the beast, from the French version of beauty and the etc.), and at least three acceptable versions of The Mummy. And many more, each one different. Nary a one insufficient. Surprisingly, a good buy.
With that going for them (the peculiar whatchamacallit called Quality), it’s sort of a shame that they had to show a carefully hand-picked selection of their crumbiest stamps to advertise their product. It doesn’t make sense somehow. Who goofed? Naturally, there’s bound to be a few near-misses in every batch of 100 of the “scariest” movie monsters, but good gosh, do they have to boast about them? Someone ought to re-do their ad.
Still, you’re getting more than you bargained for-one of the stamps is of a two-headed man. That makes a nice odd figure of 101.