Tag: Lon Chaney

ISSUE 1: THE MONSTER MARKET

Grave-robbing may be out of style, but fan exploitation isn’t. Monster fans deserve a reliable market test to rely upon before sending money to all too monstrous manufacturers. Therefore, to duli the fangs of some vampires of our industry, we at MT innovate The Monster Market to product test items, and report accurately on them – and about the bargains, too!

IMPORTANT! If we are really going to be able to keep the monster magnates in line, we’ll need your help. Please write in and tell us of your experience in the monster market, whether it be good, bad or none of the above. Write to THE MONSTER TIMES, c/o The Monster-Market, P.O. Box 595, Old Chelsea Station, N.Y. 10011.

Product Tested: 100 “movie Monster” Stamps. Available at: L&G Products, Box 532, Bellmore, N.Y. 11710. Price: $1.00 per set of 100.

“100 Stick-On Stamps of the Scariest Movie Monsters!”- they gotta be kidding, said we. With a gosh-awful ad like that, it’s gotta be the “scariest” waste of a buck yet. But we took the gamble and were pleasantly shocked to find we were wrong. But the ad should be re-written to read; “100 Stick-On Stamps of the Greatest Film Monsters-Printed in Livid Stomach-Churning GREEN!” This would better describe the product, and probably sell more of them.

You must be familiar with the ad for the “100 Stick-On Stamps of the Scariest Movie Monsters.” It’s common to all the Skywald “horror” comic magazines. The address on the ad coupon is to Skywald’s editorial offices, not, as one would assume, to L&G products. And that’s the trouble.

It took us well over two whole months until we got the stamps. They finally arrived a couple days before final deadline of our first issue. If you have any notions about giving the monster stamps (or probably any other of the Skywald-advertised products) as any sort of present, you had better order at least a full one-third of a year beforehand. We’ve given the real address of L&G Products, above. If you order directly from them, and skip the middlemen (Skywald), you just might get them a little sooner, but don’t hold your breath!

The stamps themselves were a surprise. They’re pretty good. They are also about one-eighth of an inch smaller than the “samples” presented in the ad, but that’s not particularly what one might call misleading advertising. Just wholesome, old-fashioned, “Yankee Trading”. Though we recommend the stamps, we wouldn’t advise you to buy a coffin from these folk … you’d wake up with evening backache and cramped wings.

Whoever chose the 100 monsters really knew his stuff. We can’t say they are the “scariest”-not with a straight face, anyway. But they are some of our favorites.

Lon Chaney is represented three times, by our count; as the one-eyed man in The Road to Mandalay, as the incomparable Hunchback, and as (natch!) The Phantom. Nosferatu, the first screen Dracula, is there, although slightly re-touched, and ol’ John Barrymore, the first great Mr. Hyde, is represented, also. The first filmed incarnation of Frankenstein’s monster (albeit it was a 15-minute jobbie produced by Thomas Edison and played by someone named Charles Ogle) is there too.

And there’s the cyclops from Ray Harryhausen’s special effects shelf from 7th Voyage of Sinbad, and Frankenstein (naturally Karloff), and five-count-em-five different versions of the wolfman (including the beast, from the French version of beauty and the etc.), and at least three acceptable versions of The Mummy. And many more, each one different. Nary a one insufficient. Surprisingly, a good buy.

With that going for them (the peculiar whatchamacallit called Quality), it’s sort of a shame that they had to show a carefully hand-picked selection of their crumbiest stamps to advertise their product. It doesn’t make sense somehow. Who goofed? Naturally, there’s bound to be a few near-misses in every batch of 100 of the “scariest” movie monsters, but good gosh, do they have to boast about them? Someone ought to re-do their ad.

Still, you’re getting more than you bargained for-one of the stamps is of a two-headed man. That makes a nice odd figure of 101.

–Chuck McNaughton

ISSUE 1: THE GHOULS, A BOOK REVIEW

by LARRY TODD

THE GHOULS

edited by Peter Haining with an introduction by Vincent Price and an afterword by Christopher Lee $7.95

Peter Haining’s THE GHOULS is an anthology of nineteen stories which have found their way (in some form or another), to the screen as horror films. That is, some of them are horror films, others are monster flicks. Editor Haining has produced several other anthologies, including a competent one on vampyres; THE MIDNIGHT PEOPLE.

THE GHOULS is published by Stein and Day, for the truly blood-curdling sum of $7.95. Its other attributes, (apart from the impressive price tag); a garish cover done in early Grand Guignol and ziptone, with hints of decadence and bad taste, (the inside cover is even worse; its in Day glo Christmas colors with a reproduction of Christopher Lee yawning) an introduction by Vincent Price, an editor’s forward, an afterword by Christopher Lee, and stills from the films.

The stories are by Ambrose Bierce, Edgar Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Bram Stoker, Nikolai Gogol, and Robert Louis Stevenson to name a random few. Literary excellence, and the role these stories have played in the history of the horror film are Mr. Haining’s chief considerations.

The stories are, on the whole, excellent. Some, such as Tod Robbin‘s SPURS and Gaston Leroux‘s THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, have inspired, respectively, the cine-masterpieces FREAKS, and the immortal Chaney film. Others, Poe’s THE OBLONG BOX, for example, have been butchered and transformed beyond recognition. As Boris Karloff once remarked during an interview “Poor Poe, the things we did to him when he wasn’t around to defend himself.”

The best story is W.F. Harvey‘s grisly THE BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS; a classic which has been anthologized since the Flood, and is perhaps one of the most frightening stories of all time. Also good are Poe’s THE SYSTEM OF DOCTOR TARR AND PROFESSOR FETHER, Nathaniel Hawthorne’s FEATHERTOP. and Nicolai Gogol’s THE VIY.

Harvey’s BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS concerns a man relentlessly persecuted by (and finally murdered by) his dead uncle’s possessed hand. A beautifully crafted piece of work, from its subtle beginning to its climactic ending, it was, unfortunately, made into an undistinguished film in 1947. That it survives at all, despite its typical 1940’s gimmick ending, is due entirely to the acting ability of the late Peter Lorre. And the pauperdom of Warner Brothers TV department.

THE SYSTEM OF DR. TARR AND PROFESSOR FETHER deals with the strange doings in a lunatic asylum when the patients take over. It’s by Poe. Need I say more? The critic who remarked-“One does not go to Poe for humor.” can eat his words. It may be black humor, but it is definitely humor. The film, under the title THE LUNATICS, was produced in 1912 by the Edison company; which also produced the lost FRANKENSTEIN of 1910.

FEATHERTOP is about a scarecrow who through the whim of a New England witch, becomes alive. Gogol’s THE VIY, a story of vampirism and witchcraft in Russia, was turned into an excellent film by Mario Bava. Bava had been a cameraman before becoming a director, and his visual sense of values and ability to use his actors (Barbara Steele and John Richardson in this case), were what made BLACK SUNDAY a superior film.

Now for the bad news folk. Included in the anthology are Gaston Leroux’s PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, Tod Robbin’s SPURS, and Francis Oscar Mann’s THE DEVIL IN A CONVENT.

The PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is quite a good novel in the original French. This translation is terrible. To judge Gaston Leroux by this mess is comparable to judging Chaney’s performance by the rotten Hammer remake. I’ve read the original, complete, French version. I know. (I’ve also seen the rotten Hammer remake.)

I was disappointed in Tod Robbin’s SPURS. I expected the story that inspired Tod (Dracula) Browning’s magnum opus, the incomparable FREAKS, to be made of sterner stuff. Well. That is life. THE DEVIL IN A CONVENT is a bore. It may have inspired the first horror film of all time, but it is a mushy Pre-Raphaelite-like bore. Enough. If you’re curious about what exactly a Pre-Raphaelite-like bore is, read it.

Now: the question that is doubtless foremost in your hearts as you sit, perched on your chairs breathlessly perusing this review. Do I recommend the book? After all, $7.95 is a lot of bubble gum in these depression days. And is it worth it?

Yes.

Jessica Clerk

EDITOR’S NOTE: Jessica Clerk is The Monster Times’ Staffe Vampyr Expert, 17 years old, and claims to carry a torch for Chris Lee. We plan to ship our precocious li’l tyke to England to interview England’s No. 1 vampire in a forthcoming ish of M.T.

Peeleth thine eyes!