Slay it again, Sam
Bogey’s ONLY Monster film!
A SPOOK-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB Selection
by M.G. BRUNAS
Humphrey Bogart was a vampire! At least in the science-fiction horror film, THE RETURN OF DR. X, his only monster flick. And it was TERRIBLE! How he came to play in it is a great mystery. Perhaps his agent had a grudge against him. Perhaps he slugged Warner Brothers’ mogul, Jack L. Warner. Perhaps he was drunk when he signed the contract. Perhaps … ah, but we shall never know.
In any case, he had his face sloppily gunked up with greasepaint, and a weird electric streak of white paint striped across his hairline so he resembled an undead skunk.
THE RETURN OF DR. X was a sequel to an earlier (and better) Warner Brothers opus, DR. X.
he couldn’t Return from whence he came
In case your memory of DR. X is dim, suffice to say that it dealt with a one-handed scientist (Preston Foster) of the sinister and slightly deranged variety who concocts a formula for synthetic flesh which the good doctor happily coats himself for the purpose of killing off unsuspecting victims. Naturally the fiend is done in by the last reel of the movie by a reporter, Lee Tracy, who ignites him with a kerosene lamp.
The return opens with a bumbling reporter, Walt Garrett, arriving at a swank! New York hotel to interview actress Angela Morrova (Lya Lys) but instead finds her knifed body sprawled on the floor. He promptly rings up the authorities telling them that there is no trace of the killer, but he found the actress’ pet monkey (“No one is here except the monkey and he couldn’t have dun-it”). But when the police arrive the body has disappeared, however, the next day Merrova re-appears alive and disclaims Garrett’s story.
a science-created vampire
Garrett now joins forces with his doctor friend, Mike Rhodes (Morgan), and they trace the case to the laboratory of a noted hematologist, Dr. Francis Flegg (played by John Liel) who confesses that he has almost succeeded in synthesizing human blood not to mention that he has resurrected the corpse of a Dr. Maurice Xavier (Bogart) who was executed for murdering a child. But science-created Vampire Xavier can only stay alive with a constant supply of a very rare type of blood which he obtains by killing people known to have that blood type. Flegg managed to bring one of Xavier’s victims back to life, Angela Merrova, but only for a limited period of time.
Before Rhodes and Garrett can get to the police, Xavier murders Flegg. The police gun down Xavier as he tries to make a pretty nurse (Rosemary Lane) one of his victims. This ends Bogey’s only monster movie (and almost his career!).
“A stinkin’ pitcher”…Bogey
Humphrey Bogart, being a man of taste, once panned THE RETURN OF DR. X in an interview as “a stinkin’ picture” and one for which he felt the urge to ask Jack Warner for more bread, probably because of the hardship he endured suffocating under a layer of dried greasepaint which looked ready to fall off his face in the movie. Bogie also shrewdly commented that the part should have gone to Boris Karloff or Bela Lugosi.
His make-up doesn’t give the illusion of terror, but rather makes us think that we are watching Sam Spade at a grotesque Halloween party. The rest of the cast doesn’t fare much better reading off pages of witless dialogue, but they weren’t as fortunate as Bogie who at least hid his face under all of that make-up.
However, despite the many shortcomings in the film, which by the way, only runs a mere sixty-two minutes, it is a hard movie not to enjoy. After all it was by Warner Brothers (those wonderful folks who brought you Bugs Bunny) and it bears the gloss and fervourous spirit of movie-making that the studio skillfully conveyed in (even their most disastrous stinkeroos!) which gave their products a pulsating personality. It isn’t such a terrible flick that it isn’t fun to watch even if you take your horror thrillers as seriously as the Mummy takes his tanna leaves. And if you can’t have fun watching horror movies, where can you?
trust The Critics…
“Patterned after FRANKENSTEIN, the daddy of horror films, THE RETURN OF DR. X deals in shocks rather than mystery, although there is enough of the latter to provide abundant suspense until light is thrown on the weird experiments of an egomaniac.
The first part is extremely well done, and will have you jumping out of your skin. But after the strange case of Dr. Quesne is cleared up the suspense falls flat while you’re waiting for the inevitable ending. THE RETURN OF DR. X deserves another good word. The relieving bits of comedy are deftly done and in very good taste for this sort of film. You’ll get your thrills from the picture even if it is an anemic copy of the red-blooded FRANKENSTEIN.
**1/2-THE DAILY NEWS