Grave-robbing may be out of style, but fan exploitation isn’t. Monster fans deserve a reliable market test to rely upon before sending money to all-too monstrous manufacturers. Therefore, to dull the fangs of some vampires of our industry, we at MT innovate The Monster Market to product test items, and report accurately on them-and about the bargains, too!
IMPORTANT! If we are really going to be able to keep the monster magnates in line, we’ll need your help. Please write in and tell us of your experience in the monster market, whether it be good, bad or none of the above. Write to THE MONSTER TIMES, c/o The Monster-Market, P.O. Box 595, Old Chelsea Station, N.Y. 10011.
Product Tested: Venus Fly Trap.
Available from: Various mail-order houses (see list).
Price: (see price comparison chart).
“Horticulturists Unite! Beware of the man-eating plants!” How many times should this phrase have been uttered to groups of B-Movie safaris, as they enter the darkened jungles, or have been said softly by Hollywood-style natives as they reluctantly pushed on to lands unknown? The answer would be countless; and although it sounds quite ridiculous, it may come as a shock to learn that man-eating plants actually do have a sound basis in fact.
“Complete rubbish, bah, humbug.” I hear you mentally shouting as you read, but have you ever heard of the Venus Fly Trap? If you haven’t then perhaps you should know about this unusual Mediterranean plant that draws its nourishment from two highly different sources: (1) the normal way through its system of roots and fibers, and (2) the more deadly way of entrapping small insects and devouring them whole!
And it goes about this second action in a very clever way – especially for what (we hope) is non-thinking vegetable matter. The Fly Trap can usually stand from one to five feet tall and is adorned with an abundance of round prickly flowers all colored in varieties of rich red hues.
These flowers are open wide with usually a thin crease down the center and surrounded on the circumference with a throng of sharp and prickly bristles. All through the hot Mediterranean days, these flowers remain open to the air – exuding a noticeably sweet and pungent odor that can carry many yards from the plant’s rooted base.
Besides activating the olfactory glands in humans, this pleasant smell also beckons to the many forms of bugs and insects which inhabit the mass growth of the forested areas. Thusly, the Venus Fly Trap attracts its insect prey through the sense of smell as well as through its alluring highly colored petals – two almost unfightable inducements for an unsuspecting moth or gnat.
When the unwary insect is drawn to the planet, he will no doubt attempt a landing on one of the many sweet and colored flowers — this being his first, and final fatal mistake. For when the bug lights on the plant, the petals immediately close tight entrapping the insect between the two inside walls of the flower. And then to compound the horror that the excited bug must surely be experiencing, the walls emit a sticky acid-like substance which at first stops the insect cold – prohibiting him from any further attempt at escape. The victim must then lie helpless as more fluid is secreted through the inside walls until the bug is completely eaten away, with the acid returning to the body of the plant.
This, of course, does not happen within just minutes, the process usually takes approximately twelve hours, and before the next day can dawn the Fly Trap’s flowers are all open for business again – ready for another day of fun and profit.
And just think, you too can have a Venus Fly Trap in your own home. Just imagine the savings on insect sprays and room fresheners, when you have a sweet-smelling Fly Trap in your indoor garden to do all the dirty work. Just remember to keep the temperature up, and allow the plant to get plenty of sunshine. Being from the very southernly regions, the Fly Trap literally thrives on the heat and ultra-violet rays of the sun – aside from its bug-catching operation of course.
And in case your home is free of flies and other roaming pests, the Fly Trap also enjoys munching on small pieces of raw steak, lamb, pork, with an occasional nip out of a stray cat.
And if you seem to be remembering some variations on the Venus Trap from your cinema viewings, try recalling Irwin Alien’s well-publicized remake of THE LOST WORLD back in 1960. This film features a host of man-sized plant traps that lay close to the ground somewhat like the tops of inverted mushrooms.
English sci-fi author John Wyndham’s novel THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS sparked the film of the same name that displayed herds of man-eating plants that even had the power of root movement. An excellent story in book form, the 1963 British offering failed to come up to the printed page’s high standard.
Two classic vegetable films would have to be Howard Hawks’ THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD and action director Don Seigal’s INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS. Both films took new and innovative looks at the idea of intelligent vegetable life that could exist on other worlds than our own. Each is regarded as masterpiece in the fantasy genre and both are continually being placed on top ten fantasy film lists everywhere.
To a somewhat lesser degree we also could take a look at Roger Corman’s LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS. This picture, turned out in the still unbroken record time of 24/2 days, centered around a dingy restaurant with a very unusual conversation; a seven-foot-tall talking plant that would devour anything from a salami sandwich to a copy of yesterday’s Daily News. And you can well believe how hard that is to swallow!
Last and least among dangerous plants is a toss-up between two TV offerings. The better of the two appeared on ABC’s now-defunct adult science-fiction series THE OUTER LIMITS. Titled “Space Seed”, the episode was a direct copy from John Wyndham’s DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS – right down to the same destroying agent, H20.
The other nameless plant personality resided in the garden of Morticia Addams of that infamous Charles Addams’ Family. You may recall with fondness or disgust the Fly Trap arrangement she cultivated to ensnare unwanted victims as well as sing “My Wild Irish Rose” in the key of “C!”
In any case, it’s clear to see that the Venus Fly Trap, in one form or another, is here to stay for a long time. So why not get out there in your garden and get growing!
Jim Wnoroski
SOME MT TIPS TO VFT OWNERS:
Keep your VFT very warm … like about 75 to 85 degrees, and at about 90% humidity (near a leaky radiator or steam pipe in your comfy crypt, will mildewy do). But make sure also (Vampires take belated note:) that it’s at a sunny window with a SOUTH exposure. Ask your friendly neighborhood flower shop or greenhouse keeper what exactly “acid” soil with “low pH, half sphagnum and half peat moss” is. It’s too complicated, and would take a mad doctor or an hour to explain here, but that’s the type of soil you need. It’s said that the best way is to keep the plants in a brandy snifter with one or two inches of gravel at the bottom, for drainage.
What do you say about a lovely Venus-Fly-Trap that died?- “It should have been kept in the light!” that’s what you say. Heed this advice, and you need never worry about all them Giant Bugs on the Munch, in this here Creepish-Crawl-Ish. So dig in!
GRIPES AND GRUMBLES DEPARTMENT
Dear Monster Market,
Shades of Great Expectations, whatever happened to Steranko’s “History of the Comics” Vol. 2? Everyone in fandom, including my humble self, has been champing at the bit these many months just waiting for it to be published. Whoever dreamed up the ads for it, must have also composed the musical score for the Broadway play – “Promises, Promises!” Dig? I don’t know how long you other cats have been waiting, but I forked over my gelt nine months ago. Count um’–nine. You can give birth to a baby in that amount of time!——SO, shouldn’t Steranko’s lil’ brainchild be aborning – by now? I don’t know how he’s been spending this vast amount of time – or our money – but if he can drag himself out of Disneyland long enough, maybe we might get our goodies.
So please, Mr. Steranko, how’s about it? Since Washington crossed the Delaware – no matter how cold it was – why don’t you come across? Before we’re left cold! Thank you, and well-seasoned greetings from……….
Jimmy Thornton
New York City
THE FACTS OF THE CREEPY CASE:
We set our researchers about, nosing for news of Mr. Steranko’s book. Jimmy – and it seems, according our best info, that History of the Comics, Volume II is at the printers, and has been there for some months. We wrote Jim Steranko about a month ago, and as of press time, we’ve still no reply. We have to admit, we’re also curious about the second volume of History of The Comics, as the first book is a visual treat, and we intend to review it rather favorably in an upcoming issue of MT.
Perhaps Mr. Steranko didn’t reply to our letter because he couldn’t believe a newspaper called “THE MONSTER TIMES” could be for real … but we are! If any other readers have ordered the second volume and think Mr. Steranko might take them for real, and answer them, they might write him, c/o SUPERGRAPHICS, 501 Spruce Street, Reading, Pa. 19602, and ask him the status of his long-publicized “new” book.